There’re some common questions and attitude for people living with genital herpes about their sex life.
What’re yours?I am sorry that we have to deal with herpes.
But life goes on,we need to be active with our sex life.we have to face it and go throught all these things.
This is a understandable upset for most of us.Yes,we may hate our body,hate everyone,never wanna talk about sex again.That’s the major psychosocial impact on many people.But we need to reassure ourselves,because he diagnosis of genital herpes should not “single you out” or impugn your self respect. This sexually transmitted virus is present in a very large group of individuals over every social and economic strata.
One in five Americans has been infected!Can you believe it?We probably saw your doctor with a painful sore or recurrent and “always in the same place” irritation in the genital area.We may want to find out why I have herpes,who gave it to me.No doubt,everyone want to know these answers.But that will not do any help with our Physical Health and Emotional Health.Face your herpes and learn how to live with it is our choice!.
This is the hardest part before we having sex with partners.Tell or not?
Well,I did miserable things about this,I kept as a secret in the begining.But that hurt someone and made us unhappy at all.Then I tried to be honest and responsible,love and sex life getting better.
First,as I said,we need to tell our partners before we have sexual contact with them.It really a bad idea if you choose to tell them after sleep with them.To be honest, responsible, active, and loving are always the best policy.Even if he/she is just your casual partner,but they deserve to know the fact.Now we continue to the second part,how to tell:
before you start the topic with telling your partner how common this infection really is,1 in 5 to 1 in 4 sexually active adults are infected – over 50 million american adults and 90% do not know they are infected.Why telling this?It will help your partner to know some facts about herpes and you are not the only
sufferer,this always a good start of the “Talk”.
Choose your own words and find the way that’s most comfortable for you.Ask a question:Have you ever had a cold sore orfever blister?.Serious talk:I want to talk with you about something that’s important to me/I really feel I can trust you and I want to tell you something verypersonal.For safety:Let’s talk about safer sex. I am sure you can do better than I did.
And he think we should Instead of saying “I have herpes,” say “I carry the virus for herpes. ”.What will this help?If you say “I have herpes”,that will make your partner think you are having herpes outbreak now and you are always contagious.Yes,that’s true,this start may end your conversation or your partner ship. And what about ” I carry the virus for herpes” .Much better!It makes your herpes a manageable issue.Because up to 80% people carry the virus HSV1.which causes cold sores around the mouth, and can also be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.
Explaining them sleeping with someone who has genital herpes does not mean they are guaranteed to get it.Many people with infected partners never become infected themselves even after decades of being together.And there are many couples in which one partner has HSV2 and the other partner does not,this will help your partner relax and not worried so about your herpes or get repacted.
I have to repeat this again.Give your partner time to do some research and learn about herpes.I am sure you know more than he/her does,so,help them with it.Also you can print some information about herpes before you tell him/her to give a starting point.If he/she cares about you,they will learn about herpes and accept it.
Hope all these can do a little help for you to tell.
Yes,of course you can.Herpes is just a virus. It does not define who you are. Everyone has“stuff” to deal with in their lives,just we are dealing with herpes.And we
are learning about it.
Not at all.I can learn much more about love since we have herpes,the really true loving and sex.
No,like I said above,sleeping with someone who has genital herpes does not mean they are guaranteed to get it. Many people with infected partners never become infected themselves even after decades of being together.
First of all and more importantly we need to know,genital herpes does not have to bring about an end to your sex life. Couples cope with and are living with genital herpes every single day and for many.Millions of people have genital herpes around the world. Millions of people are still having sex lives, honestly, openly, with non positive partners, or other positive partners.All we have to do is to do some changes.Yes,nothing but some changes.
a. If all you do is avoid having sex during a genital herpes outbreak there is a four percent risk of transmitting the virus to an uninfected partner.
b. If you avoid having sex during an outbreak AND use a condom then the risk is reduced to two percent.
c. If you avoid having sex during an outbreak, regularly use condoms AND use the anti-viral drug, Valtrex then you further reduce the risk to one percent.So the first thing first is Avoid Sex With Herpes During Active Outbreaks.Sexual intercourse should be always be avoided for the duration of an active outbreaks particularly when one partner is infected and the other is not. Sexual intercourse can take place any time both partners have herpes outbreaks even though it may be painful.
Why saying this:The more stress you have in your life the more outbreaks you may have.You might be surprised to know that stress can actually lead to outbreaks.When your body is stressed, your immune system is weakened. You are more susceptible to disease and infection.So Getting your stress under control can help you get your herpes under control and live with fewer outbreaks and less intense symptoms when they do occur.You will also feel better and healthier all over which also contributes to fewer outbreaks (According to the herpestalk research).For a lot of people who have herpes, outbreaks only take place a few times a year.So don’t be too worried about your health,have a regular life,do more pratice,don’t be too tired,stop drinking and don’t eat piquant food.
Personally,kissing,have a talk,some dirty jokes,light music and dancing.I am sure you can have more things to do than I did.Why these things?Sex with genital herpes means we can’t “rush hook up” “quickly get laid”.That’s one of the changes.Slow down then love and honesty will grow between you and your partner,try it,you will learn something quite special you never had before.Slow loving,more loving.
This is another change have to be made.For condoms,I advise the latex condoms,even though they are not 100% effective,but it has proved as the most effective protection against the HSV virus.So Condoms should always be worn in new relationships or when participating in casual genital herpes sex.Dental dams is using during the oral sex.For genital herpes and cold sores,dental dams is very helpful to avoid the transmition.
Friction during sexual intercourse also needs to be considered due to the fact that friction during sex could irritate your skin and induce outbreaks. If that’s an issue, use a water-based sexual lubricant.Don’t utilize an oil-based lubricant because the oil can break down a latex condom. Additionally, don’t use a lubricant that contains nonoxynol-9 (spermicide). Nonoxynol-9 could cause small rips in mucous membranes on the genitals. These rips enables the virus to enter your body easier. (LWGH)
I hope this short article can make you more hopeful about your sex life with herpes now, and given you some ideas on what you can do to help yourself.